Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

VS-087_web

Would you go to funny talking Eastern European Burt Reynolds lookalike Sasha Gabor (in a bad floured wig, yet) for psychiatric help?

001_1.344.1f

Well, that’s what our first victim, a floppy breasted, early adopter of the Brazilian racing strip with disturbingly noticeable stretch marks under her sagging mammaries does. Not sure what her big problem is, because all she relates to Gabor is a lame dream where her surfer dude boyfriend (either Shone Taylor or a lookalike) balls her in the shower.  

Immediately after this earthshaking revelation of personal neurosis, Gabor tells his new receptionist (don’t ask, he’s already got one, none of this makes any sense) that he’s going on vacation – she’ll be working for his replacement, “Dr. Stein” (now we know where Helloween got that from!)

002_1.50.1f003_1.64.1f

So Stein (Jeremy Hapner) shows up and hypnotizes patient Beverly Doom (now she should have been the Dr., with that name…) into revealing yet another incest scenario (seriously, what’s up with Carlos Tobalina? Not the first time he’s trod this particular path..) with Trinity Loren and mustachioed Robert Bullock complete with vaselined lens and tacked on moans. When he breaks the hypnosis, she claims to “feel great” and “have no anxieties left!”

Then Vanessa D’Oro tells of a weird “soul swap” dream where she becomes Nina Hartley balling Francois Papillon (credited under a pseudonym) – this allows Tobalina to show the same scene, but switching back and forth between the two women. It’s actually sort of clever in a puerile way. But this “satisfied her soul, but not her body”, so Hapner steps in to finish the job. Meanwhile, the new receptionist (who of course is listening in on all of the sessions) plays with herself.

005_1.183.1f

This goes on for a bit, until Vanessa D’Oro shows up for a repeat performance and the receptionist decides to treat this patient herself (!) with a vibe and some sapphic business. Then Hapner shows up and rather than firing her for unethical behavior, joins in (not like he was exactly Mr. Clean anyway, so why not?)

Gabor walks in on the scene and actually does reprimand his replacement, but changes his mind and takes him and the receptionist in to the practice as partners!

Finally, trashy but quite sexy goth girl Melissa Melendez shows up for some couples therapy, only to find that hubby wants to watch while she cuckolds him with Gabor.  Hapner gets another round with Dr. Doom, Gabor gets with what may be a very young Jade East (if it is her, she hadn’t yet developed those hard lines in the face that made her sorta scary) while some tacky Chinese traditional music plays.  She even has to say “American therapy very nice” at the end!  Finally, Gabor gets a session with a Jheri Curled black girl where he finally gets to doff the wig and appear in all his ersatz-Burt glory (and they both have a hell of a lot of trouble getting her clothes off!)

006_1.258.1f

On one had, it’s typical Tobalina, but as noted previously, the guy finally seemed to be getting with the game by the 80’s. More on par with what his peers were producing (whether due to the proliferation of more plotless, direct and to the point video productions or any actual improvement on his part is open to debate), Tobalina’s productions of this area often featured better looking women, ‘name’ actors and actresses and funkier music.

For its part, Super Sex stars several very attractive women (the Asia Argentoesque Melendez and perky Italian girl D’Oro in particular, but nobody onscreen is really a deal breaker) and feels very much of its era – screen this back to back with, say, The Poonies and Loose Ends and it won’t feel very out of place.

A relative thumbs up, particularly by comparison with most of the man’s other work.

007_1.3.1f

On the other hand, we have the following year’s Pulsating Flesh, which aside from a cute John Hughes film type* who eventually hires the ostensible star for services and Tess Ferre as “Mrs. Wilson” is filled with below average at best women, mainly blondes or bottle blondes and a few chubbies with little appeal outside the Midwestern states they likely hailed from.  You know, big names like “Mindy Rae”, “Kathlyn Moore”, “Renee Summers” and my favorite near-famous person name swap, “Tami Lee Curtis(!)”

*see final photo below

011_1.321.1f008_1.55.1f

Apparently this middle aged yuppie type with thinning hair (Ray Hardin) has the ever useful skill of being able to impregnate any woman he sleeps with. While most women would be terrified to get intimate with this clown, apparently this makes him much in demand, selling his services via television appearances (giving a part to manly voiced Tamara Longley, as the host of the “Joan Carson” talk show, who he services in front of a “live” studio audience of old farts).  Oh, and there’s one of those patented Carlos Tobalina orgies.

Don't let the girl in front fool ya. The rest are pretty damn scary...

Don’t let the girl in front fool ya. The rest are pretty damn scary…

It’s really bad, the women are scary, and even cameos from known commodities like Harry Reems and Bunny Bleu aren’t enough to drum up interest here.

Advertisements