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John Leslie is a married man. He’s in an open marriage with some 7 foot tall Lark Voorhees type (a certain Tina Marie), who appears to be perfectly aware of and OK with his two timing her with cute Joanna Storm…though he seems less sure about her interest in business partner Joey Silvera.

When they attend a disco pool party at Plato’s Retreat, of all places,* things start to get a bit more tense.  Tina introduces Silvera to Storm, which really sets Leslie off, so he gets party maven Honey Wilder to intervene.  Apparently, the two have one rule: you don’t bang my friends, I don’t bang yours.  Of course, best laid plans of mice and men…

* who even get their own disco theme song, which plays interminably throughout the sequence!

Meantime, a surprisingly still skinny Ron Jeremy keeps flowers in his fly as a pickup line (and being the wonderful world of hardcore...it works!) and boffs a homely blonde with a nice rearview.  Has nothing to do with the rest of the story, but hey…its “The Humpster” with a flower in his fly. 

While getting a few rounds in at the tennis club, Leslie and Silvera walk in on two lesbi-friends who can’t keep their hands to themselves in the club bathroom, and being that this is the fantasyland playground of hardcore that we’re talking about, Silvera gets in on their action.  Wilder drops by Leslie’s place as part of their insidious plan, leaving him free to drop by Storm’s place, where he seems more interested in playing her vintage arcade machine than with her.

The girls, meanwhile, head down to a fetish club (actually more of a NYC storage room, complete with clutter) and Tina joins Sharon Mitchell in some light domme work.

The married bliss is just overflowing as the two passive-aggressively exchange conquests, digs and jibes over breakfast (where Leslie drops the cringeworthy line “all that women’s lib talk must really be gettin’ to ya!”).  Storm calls, gets a bit of neurotic aggro from Tina and winds up attempting a Fatty Arbuckle on herself in drunken frustration.

Uh…yeah, sure.…great revenge, there…

Wilder pays the still-raging Tina a visit, convincing her to follow through on her interest in Silvera…which leads to more than just a physical encounter between the two of them.  Sharon Kane appears in a weird aside at Wilder’s place, where the latter more or less blackmails Leslie into forcing Silvera to marry Storm…apparently because she’s hot for Storm.

Say huh? 

Well, the plot, as soap opera convoluted as it is, doesn’t make a damn bit of sense (though it may or may not put the kibosh on Tina’s plans to run away with Silvera…you can never tell with all these wacky open relationships!)

At least it’s well filmed, there are some reasonably aesthetic locations (particularly Wilder and Storm’s apartment, which is absolutely gorgeous) and as is often the case with Horulu, the prurient bits are well filmed and erotic.

There’s a really stupid ending (which was also foreshadowed in the opening), but overall, this was a fairly engaging, often reasonably “hot” affair, which apparently closed the book on Horulu’s career.

As ever, the restoration is gorgeous, bar a minute or so when Leslie visits Storm and chooses 8-bit over two-bit, as it were, and which appears to be sourced from a murky VHS.

Taken as a whole, Never Sleep Alone, while ridiculous in premise and plot, should satisfy the typical consumer of this particular genre of cinema, or fans of either middle tier starlets like Storm or relative unknowns like “Tina Marie”.