There’s an alien menace loose in the sewer tunnels of London, and the Queen Mum herself decides to accompany Torchwood’s Captain Jack in pursuit.
“That’s what Torchwood does.”
“What, cuts aliens’ heads off?”
“No, that wasn’t planned, that was just…an accident.”
“You accidentally cut an alien’s head off?”
“I didn’t cut it off…I slammed a window down on it. A few times.”
“They say the best conspiracies involve the fewest conspirators, but I’m not so sure. I think the biggest ones involve a lot of people, most of whom have no idea what they’re part of…and never live long enough to find out.”
“If Jack’s in trouble…”
“Jack is trouble, Gwen! That’s the point o’ Jack. Whenever the world stops endin’, he just…no sign o’ him, 5 years. So if he’s back…”
“The world’s probably endin’…again!”
“You don’t have to look so happy about it.”
“Save me dealing from that massive pile o’ laundry…an’ your turn to change it.”
“Come on, you alien invasion!”
Ianto is pulling a Major Tom, falling uncontrollably into sub-orbital velocity after a failed attempt to save the entrepeneur behind the first private spaceflight. And the only person who can save him is…a cold caller selling insurance?
Can our outsourced heroine go off script long enough to guide him back safely?
“I’m sorry, I can’t read this. This is all bullsh**.
Does anyone really think it’s the President or the Prime Minster who’s running the show? Of course not! It’s the oil companies and the multinationals.
The politicians of this world are just marionettes. And we’re sending young men over to foreign countries where they fight and die to preserve business interests.
It’s insane, and I can’t carry on being a spokesperson for all of this. F*** this. I’m done.”