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It’s Friday!  It’s August!  And it’s back!

Sure enough, despite all the cries to reopen the world at large, all those dumb MAGA fucks who wanted to have their cake and eat it too have managed to drag the rest of us kicking and screaming right back to the start of 2020.

Because now, even having done our part and gotten double vaccinated, their conspiracy obsessed, “alternate fact”-driven little world of abject stupidity has created “breakthrough Covid”.  Seriously.

That many of these idiots, shouting “I’ve got a right! To jump off a bridge without a net, to stick my finger in a socket, or more to the point, to enter a plague ward unmasked!” have managed to join forces with the fourth and most contagious global strain and mutation of the virus so that it even gets through to all of us.  Won’t kill us, unlike their stupid asses.  But the long term effects, like heart and breath issues, or early Alzheimers?  Fair game. Thanks, MAGA!

Seriously.  Social Darwinism is supposed to be about the fools and the unfit marching their way to their own self destruction, not about cutting off the entire line of the species in their abject idiocy.  We survived Reagan and his little red button of mutually assured destruction and atomic mega-death all those years ago, for his even stupider and more fascist progeny to succeed…by being too stubborn and moronic to get an effective flu shot?

Wake up, people.  Even your boy Mitch McConnell is going on about polio vaccines or some shit these days.  You’re all gonna die in your pointless arrogance, yelling about “owning them libs” from your bed in the ICU.

Maybe it’s time to start “cracking down” like they were so supportive of under that lunatic grifter they snuck into the White House from 2016-20.  Only this time, flip the tables.  You don’t want to save yourself from the black plague?  Fine.  Jump on the cart with the corpses, you’re headed to the camps*, so you can all go down together with your likeminded pals, singing kum-ba-ya.

I, for one, see no reason to tolerate your intrusion into my life and well being.  How long before those in power start to come to the same conclusion?

On your own heads be it.  This continues to go down like it appears to be going?  Shit’s coming down the pike, and y’all ain’t gonna like it.

It’s easily preventable.  Try shutting off those right wing propaganda sources and rejoining the human race.

Shall we?

* what the hell, you didn’t care when they did it to the Japanese in the 40s, or the Tribes on the reservation, or all those little Mexican kids in cages in converted Walmarts under your diaper staining hero…why would you be upset about it when it’s directed at your ass this time?

Oceanhoarse – Dead Reckoning (Noble Demon) (August 20)

“What the fuck is THIIIIIS!?!?”

So opens this obviously self reflexive release from a Finnish screamo to metalcore oriented act, all detuned, industrial metal style riffing and dyspeptic adenoidal screaming for no apparent reason.

There are some decent solos that bring would be flash acts like Roxy Blue to mind, and choruses (and occasional bridges) are melodic despite all the aggro noise surrounding in time tried metalcore fashion, so it’s not entirely tragic.

But unless you’re young enough to include the hilariously named “Synyster Gates” among your guitar heroes, this one is either best left for when you’re in the mood for metalcore, or handed down to the young’uns who simply can’t tell what the base problem is here, or how even a band that hits on more than 3 cylinders like Oceanhorse has nearly nothing to do with the finely tuned 6-8 cylinder machine that is metal in all its traditional forms and subgenres.

Unless you tag in that -core suffix, that is.

Points for the solos, extra credit for keeping much of this melodic and listenable despite all the yelling and tonsil waggling constipated screams.

Fotocrime – Heart of Crime (Profound Lore Records) (August 27)

Hmm, fascinating.

Among the many genres outside metal that get regular play ’round these parts is very early 80’s UK-led postpunk and synthpop scenes. Anything from Devo, early Spandau Ballet and Simple Minds (the latter a far cry from the cheesebags they’d become by the time John Hughes made them rich and famous) to Ultravox (both John Foxx and Midge Ure’s version), Toyah Wilcox in her Sheep Farming at Barnet days, Depeche Mode (with and without Vince Clarke) and the early Human League (before the ladies and music video fame).

So to hear something very similar to that Kraftwerk motorik as filtered through the aforementioned futurism of the past here in Covid days, not to mention hailing from Louisville, Kentucky? Color me gobsmacked.

He even brings in a female co-vocalist for “skinned alive”, just to bolster the wafting scents of early Berlin, Animotion and suchlike to a Nick Cave meets Projekt gothic darkwave vibe on tracks like “crystal caves”, or perhaps Scotland’s Secession on “so so low” or “politi policia polizei” (the latter of which also bears no small measure of Devo to it as well). This is some seriously retro shit, folks.

The only spot that ruins the mood here is when he drags things kicking and screaming into the 90’s with the rather NiN of “industry pig”, a misstep that simply doesn’t fit with the rest.

But then we get a very direct Fields of the Nephilim swipe with “zoe rising”, before the album peters out on a pair of awkward loser tracks (the latter of which, “learn to love the lash”, returns to Reznor’s ballpark. Embarrassed at making a faux pas? Hell, just double down on stupid, that’ll fix it!) saved only by intended closer “skinned alive”.

Even so, that handful of tracks is hardly enough to bring this one down, with so much good material from an era and sound not often enough quoted and revisited these days frontloading the album with goodness.

Well worth checking out, and two or three hard, wrenching missteps into more modern times aside, practically essential for fellow veterans of those hoary days (however young we may have been at the time).

Wormwood – Arkivet (July 17)

Swedish black metal act, leaning more towards the Cascadian and atmospheric, with the impending doom of mankind and his abusive caretaking of nature that brought us to this day.

There’s quite a bit of string bending and arpeggiated returning to pedal tones here that brings Inquisition very much to mind, though something like Northern Oak or later Skyclad could certainly be a forgiveable comparitor as well.

Not a lot more to offer about this one. It’s not bombastic or dramatic enough to come off as atmospheric and introspective as we tend to like ’em here, but it’s certainly well within the acceptable range, and losing some of that faux-ooga booga bullshit (not to mention “Dagon”s personal predilections – cough) certainly keeps this one on the listenable to decent range.

Just not sure it really excited overmuch, for all its power and polish.

Give ‘er a listen, see if this rings more true to your ears.

There’s certainly nothing wrong with it.

BLACK MASS – Feast at the Forbidden Tree (Redefining Darkness Records) (September 10)

Fairly killer blackthrash that seems to combine elements of the Teutonic and Brazilian styles with the Bathory/Motorhead/Venom mesh that was core to so many USBM bands over the years.

Hailing from Indiana, it’s hard to reconcile the latter’s core simplicity and rawness with the busy, wild Destruction meets Grotesque as filtered through both Fatal and Mefisto guitar work (which is really quite good, judging against peers in the subgenre). Did we mention you can often hear the bass, which provides an ever walking counterpoint on tracks like “a path beyond”? Yeah. You just don’t hear this level of musicianship in this genre, Fatal and Mefisto aside.

At times it can get a bit silly and they seem to be playing above their means: “nothing is sacred” is a newbie mistake of a “look, I can do this weird riff” that never gels or turns into anything further. But overall? Head and shoulders above their ostensible competition.

Yeah, I liked this one. Quite a bit, actually.

And here you thought all Indiana had going for it (well, actually, very much against it) was a certain boneheaded seditionist turned terrorist back on January 6.

Septage – Septisk Eradikasyon (Me Saco Un Ojo / Dark Descent) (August 13)

You’d think after decades of legalizing sex, drugs and rock n’ roll, Copenhagen would be a more mellow place. I mean, look at Amsterdam.

But no, they have to churn out yet another half assed Carcass wannabe grindcore act, complete with just got back from a night of overindulging, ralphing and toilet flushing “vocals” doubled with even nastier sounding ones. Crazy, spastic riffs that have zero bearing on said microphone abuses churn in vaguely circular patterns beneath.

It’s like Cannibal Corpse, all sturm und drang without a hook to hang it on, all insane dialogue in search of a plot. Where is the string that Theseus laid, to guide us out of this labyrinth maze, as Peter Murphy once intoned? But it simply isn’t there, zero thought or planning was given over to that aspect.

Busy, messy noise for its own sake, with no end or goal in sight.

Do yourself a favor. Some night, when you come home seriously fucked up? Run a blender before you run to the bathroom to hang over the porcelain god. Have someone record all the cacophony that ensues, maybe some enterprising label will release it.

They did for Septage.

CHAMBER OF UNLIGHT – Realm of the Night (Werewolf) (August 13)

Two members of Deathchain, one of whom also belonged to Horna at some point, drop this black metal offering that hearkens back to the late 90’s symphonic black sound.

Keyboards provide a cavernous backing and extra gloom to all the dark tremelo riffing and vox, providing the feel of a Tsjuder as crossed with…Godkiller perhaps? Certainly “midwinter forest”-era Gehenna comes to mind here, but the keys are far less active and obvious a player here, residing firmly in the background as color fill and punctuation rather than up front and church/black mass oriented as on First Spell (or even Gloomy Grim’s Blood, Monsters, Death). Abysmal Grief, this is not.

Even so, as you can see from the bands and sound being referenced hereinabove, this is a rare beast indeed nowadays.

A symphonic black metal band with actual teeth, not sucking at the worn and always quite pathetic teat of the ridiculously overrated Emperor (spits at the very mention of their name) or the populist cheese of Dimmu, complete with the sort of evocatively strange cover you might get on an early Ancient album, or perhaps Obtained Enslavement.

More, this release further bears that sinister sense of uncovered evil we seldom encounter in black metal in recent years. Less direct, more uncanny, more of the realm of nightmare and ancient fears.

Raise the horns, Finland delivers yet another reason they are the great corpsepainted hope in a black metal scene so long diminished, divided and driven into strange, post- and /death corners.

BIZARRE – Invocation Codex (Transcending Obscurity Records) (October 29)

You know, when you’re told to expect something along the lines of perennial favorites like Cemetary, Gorement, Amorphis, Grave and Morbid Angel, it’s almost like a label is setting themselves up to fail.

I mean, I don’t know about you, but for this veteran death metaller, those are some pretty heavy hitters, especially the less often feted like Cemetary and Gorement (who get more play for being discovered well outside the glory days and hence not half so burned out by repeat consumption.) Evil Shade of Grey and Darkness of the Dead get a lot of airplay in this house.

So to hear this supposedly stellar band…is unavoidably one hell of a letdown.

Yes. You can hear why Gorement was mentioned. The vox are much nastier and louder than any bands cited, I’d call something like Convulse or, to give some credit towards Amorphis, Abhorrence as a much closer analogue. But does it really sound even the slightest bit like any of the bands mentioned otherwise, or even particularly close to the two we give credit for?

No.

It’s not very old school in vibe, though you could say it does feel somewhat Finnish, and hardly ascribes to the overbearing production and atonal tech thing modern death metal makes its own.

Instead, it’s more like “overly raw, overly busy atonal mess with mild pretensions towards Gorement’s funereal vibe”.

You can give them a participation trophy for at least trying.

Didn’t work, sorry.

NORSE – Ascetic (Transcending Obscurity Records) (October 8)

Weird, experimental noise act ala Atari Teenage Riot (complete with the ridiculously fast computerized drums) masquerading as death metal.

Oh, and referring to themselves as “dissonant black metal”.

You know exactly where to file this one.

DUCK AND COVER!!!

WHIZZZ!!!

Sorry about the molten slag, sir. Management not responsible for damages incurred by close proximity to the Flaming Pyre nee Pile of Dead Bards…you see how huge that thing’s gotten, they just keep churning crap like this out somehow!

…next?

VEILBURNER – Lurkers in the Capsule of Skull (Transcending Obscurity Records) (September 24)

Okay, and this is Realm by way of Watchtower or Atheist, sputtering out high speed spastic riffs that stop and start at random intervals, with weird effects like ensuring the whammy bar is down a few degrees with every chord struck, then released back to normal tone (“nocturnal gold”).

This sort of thing would be…oddly acceptable if you’re in the right frame of mind, were it not for some pointed attempts to piss the listener off with aggravating noise (“dissonance in bloom”, “lurkers in the capsule of skull”). Did we mention the nasty black/death vox and the Atari Teenage Riot drum machine thing again?

As things go on, it’s apparent that these guys are less Watchtower or Pestilence than they are just irritating noisemakers.

But still, were this full of tracks more akin to the Patrik Mameli-esque “in the tomb of dreaming limbo” or the aforementioned “nocturnal gold”? This could have squeezed through to a win.

Interesting guitar work, just needs to be reined in and reminded of song structure, if not melody.

Maybe you should revisit those first 7 Sonic Youth albums, then come back and talk. Could make for fascinating listening.

REPLICANT – Malignant Reality (Transcending Obscurity Records) (September 10)

Damn, even more pointless atonality calling itself death metal…

Picture Martin Van Drunen as a frightened teenage emo kid. That’s this weirdo wailing and warbling away on what this ridiculous sounding act considers “vocals”.

You know what? He sounds like Shaggy calling out for Scooby Doo, when they’re wandering around some haunted house with the monster just a step behind about to grab him. “Scooby Doo! Where are you? In the ubiquity of time? The chassis of deceit, maybe?”

All I can say is, ZOINKS! This one really sucks!

Like, let’s leave this steaming turd to effloresce, and beat feet on outta here, like, right away, before it starts to smell any worse!