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Isn’t it oddly pleasant to get through a few days where the only real news was Trump’s hilariously appropriate final rally in the parking lot of a dumpy rural landscaper, right next to the adult video and toy store and across from the crematorium?

I mean, seriously. Beyond some mildly concerning craziness involving our lame duck dictator wannabe firing his entire defense staff and replacing them with crazed yes men (hmm…) and his party continuing to enable and coddle him rather than getting him to wake up, man up and get ready to face the music (oh, the lawsuits are waiting…and we already know how Putin treats liabilities, can Russkie traitor and agent Donnie be far from his Novichok burger?)…there’s really no news to report.

And that’s strangely refreshing, after four straight years of horror tweets from the toilet, wondering what atrocity and evisceration of everything our forefathers built, tried to guard against and gave life and limb to protect the Orange Goblin and Moscow Mitch were going to pull between now and 3pm? And from there to 9?

It was that bad, the man was hellbent on setting every last vestige of democracy ablaze and salting the earth before anyone could put the brakes on.

And yet, here we are. Blessed relative silence.

Will the GOP man up and get the fool to face reality? Not holding my breath. Will Joltin’ Joe and VP Harris have to call in the troops to forcibly eject the turd from the de facto bunker he’s made of the oval office? Fumigate that place before moving in, guys…the still rampant Covid and stench of fast food have to be in every fiber of carpet and ingrained in the woodwork at this point.

Sometimes, it’s hard to flush a turd.

But nobody lets it sit there for long, allowing it to stink up the place.

They’re coming for you, Donny.

Selah.

So on that heartening note (finally! A positive!)…shall we?

Ecclesia – De Ecclesiæ Universalis (Aural Music)

This may be many things…but nu metal, it’s not.

Why such an odd introduction, you ask? Apparently “another review source” (pfft! Those exist? To what end? And to what level of credibility or honesty?) has labeled this…well, let’s say “trad doom act” for the moment…as such, and much humor was shared behind the scenes as a result.

Hey, you hear what you hear, and as Third Eye regulars should be well aware, I’m all for calling a spade a spade, regardless of what PR regurgitation and kissassery other sites and sources may be parroting…but try to keep the associations within some sort of logical reach, some stretch of the imagination. Nu metal?

In this unnamed source’s defense (no, the actual site name was never revealed in the course of this group discussion), there is a strangely upbeat and catchy tone to the vocals and riffing that is very much at odds with the the affectations of traditional doom.

While the incessant use of church bells and Gregorian chant interludes certainly sets things up in the right direction, this is so far removed from the likes of Candlemass, Pentagram and Soul Sacrifice-Carnival Bizarre era Cathedral as to hail from a different genre entirely.

If anything, riffing falls more into a stoner vibe (“ecclesia sathani”) with a bit of extra CoC vigor at times (“vatican III”) and even approaching doom/death ala Asphyx (“montsegur”), while vox go so far outside the confines and expectations of doom as to come off like Layne Staley crossed with some lower tier European power metal act like Bloodbound (“behold the heretic burning”).

Worse, and doubtless where the seemingly left field assessment of nu metal hailed from, our intrepid frontman goes all metalcore screamo at points, at least once wasting an entire track with this rather asinine approach (“burn the witches”). If we wanted to listen to fucking Atreyu or All That Remains, we’d do so.

So the bottom line here: Doom metal? No. Nu metal? Certainly not.

But stoner, even stoner doom with hints of doom/death, power metal and a rather strong background in metalcore? Definitely.

So yeah, I can see how a quick, dash it off spit take simply because it disappoints so much from the expected sound and effect could make such a bizarre association as to label this oddly likeable French oddity nu metal.

It’s not. There are certainly links and flourishes that suggest ties to doom, especially in its cross genre variants. But this ain’t even on the level of Crypt Sermon, folks.

Listenably odd, may be a real sleeper…just don’t expect “traditional doom”, you will be massively crestfallen.

Marche Funèbre – Einderlicht (Hypnotic Dirge Records) (September 25)

Empyrium‘s Markus Stock produces this gloomy gothic doom/death act out of Belgium.

With Stock at the helm, you know it’s going to sound impeccable…well, at least on the cleaner toned bits, of which there are many. I guess he’s unused to distorted tones nowadays, given how little they’re emphasized in his own band and those he produces like Alcest, which results in a still clean, but somewhat muted if not muffled feel that brings modern remasters of Scott Burns productions to mind (which is odd, given how clear and crisp they sounded back in the day and on original press CDs). In any case, it sounds good across the board…just absolutely crystalline on the quieter acoustic sections.

The band’s sound is decidedly working in the Paradise Lost/My Dying Bride milieu, but firmly within the earlier doom/death periods of either, all growling death vox and heavy distorted riffs that occasionally veer off into blackened tremelo phrases (“when all is said”) and at one or two points get clean and strive for that patented gothic rock baritone (well, in this case, quavering tenor, but he’s trying).

It’s depressing as hell, particularly if you know what the album title means (hint: this album is a likely favorite with Dr. Kevorkian patients), but moments are really good and overall, it simply works. 

Possessed Steel – Aedris (Temple of Mystery) (November 30)

There’s a definite whiff of Manilla Road about this one. You could tag in similarly minded bands like Majestic Ryte, Slough Feg, Cirith Ungol, Heavy Load, High Power and Brocas Helm, and vocally you can hear the young James Hetfield (of all people!) on tracks like “spellblade”.

But don’t let all that get you too excited, because several songs are delivered in a hissing black metal snarl, and despite the clean vox and riffs decidedly leaning epic traditional, they’re either not quite there or too far off in their own corner to fit in with that storied group of acts (all of whom are top tier in our eyes here at Third Eye, with the possible exception of the rather spotty Slough Feg).

Even so? This is really good stuff, and doesn’t fit comfortably anywhere else within the myriad of subgenres that have arisen in metal over recent years (or more accurately, which have been drilled down and identified for purposes of discovery and elimination – the bands have been there for decades, only the classifications have emerged and shifted with time.)

Very, very good stuff. Now where’s my CD, eh? This one belongs in the collection, no question.

LA FIN – Endless Inertia (Argonauta Records) (October 9) 

Overly modern metal, to the point where it crosses back and forth between genres like emo/screamo, metalcore and the sort of faux-“metal” that encompasses bands like Avenged Sevenfold, Children of Bodom or whatever shitty Hot Topic act the kids are mistaking for the real deal this month.

Downtuned, quirky/djenty phrasing (“zero”), aggro screaming throughout, depressing and atonal (“hypersleep”), utterly pointless.

Call it whatever you want, kids…just stop pretending it bears even the slightest lineage or ties with actual metal of any genre or stripe.

FORE!!!!

…ouch, nice one! I think that ember just set that fat guy with the fascist armband’s orange rug alight…

…guess that’s one way to get that fuck to rejoin reality and vacate the Oval Office!

Next?

 

Jaded Star – Realign (Noble Demon) (November 6)

Mediocre modern hard rock, vaguely akin to a Lacuna Coil without the grim minor key overtones, or a Frontiers femme solo act.

Seriously, this is so inoffensive major key throaty female vocal driven and safe, you could play this to the top 40 crowd, especially out in the Midwest where folks like Kelly Clarkson are actually a thing, or were. Do a country song or two, you’ve got yourself a dedicated audience for this…

There is so little life in this, you can almost taste the boredom in the room. Was that the engineer falling asleep? The producer begging for another pot of coffee? The band starting to slump over their instruments, a round of B-12 shots to keep the session going?

Because (yawn) this is so…(another big real world yawn as “rise up” plays)…boring…sleep inducing…Hallmark crowd safe. Disney may be more threatening, and certainly far more energetic. Was this recorded when everyone was passing out after a long night?

I don’t see the point of this.

Let’s move on, shall we?

KAUNIS KUOLEMATON – Syttyköön Toinen Aurinko (Noble Demon) (November 27)

Melodeath act with symphonic and depressive, almost gothic doom/death flourishes.

Clean instrumental portions evoke imagery of water and the sea, but then the growling death vox kick in alongside chugging death riffs. You’d think this implied a sort of “nautik” progressive (funeral) doom akin to Ahab, but no such luck. This is more straightforward, despite scattered moments like the one about 4 1/2 minutes in to “monochrome”.

The vox are too abrasive, mixed too high to retain the (presumed) desired mood. They should have buried them beneath the guitars, or better yet, left ’em clean sung, they could have had a rather decent record on their hands.

As is, the vox range from ill fitting to downright terrible (“frozen ground”, with all those black metal shrieks) and even the clean and distorted guitar portions never really gel. You can tell this was recorded in patchwork and slapped together in post production.

Does this band have promise and potential? Sure. A few steps to the left, they could be another Ahab, or at least playing in that general ballpark. A few steps to the right, they could be a typical melodeath act.

But this odd limbo of a no mans land they currently inhabit? Leaves these Finns more of a shrug of the shoulders and shaking the dust off your shoes at them affair, easily ignored and easier forgotten.

Maybe next time they’ll pull things together one way or another…but this one can only be considered something of a loss.

AUTUMNBLAZE – Welkin Shores Burning (Argonauta Records) (November 27)

With some decidedly Richard Butleresque vocals, this unusual two man indie band manages to cross a Lycia-style darkwave, shoegaze and a Psychedelic Furs by way of The Church crossed with Echo and the Bunnymen vibe.

It’s melancholic to the bone, but not in the nigh-suicidal or overly introspective sense encountered so often with metal. This is more of that old “college rock” wistfulness, the sort of guys who go around in dark sunglasses and trenchcoats with spiky hair, looking miserable, yet never truly appending to a style like goth or punk.

Outsider music that comes off “safe” enough for normies, this is of a lighter, airier variant that brings albums like Starfish, Crocodiles and Talk Talk Talk to mind.

As an aficionado of every band and album aforementioned (particularly Starfish era Church!), you’ll get no complaints from me.

Two bonus tracks that show a livelier side to the band, which means they get up enough energy to sound a bit more like The Cure or the Furs than the still waters of the album proper allows.

“My swan” is the best track on the album, so don’t miss those bonus tracks, whatever you do.

Shame On Youth! – Human Obsolescence (Go Down Records) (November 27)

Simplistic punk that borders on that biker band strain of USBM, just with slightly cleaner shouted vocals, less distortion and zero tremelo picking.

Still working a sub-Motorhead faux-AC/DC sound, it’s hard to think of this as punk, but if you consider more crossover acts like Biohazard minus the rap bits as crossed with the GNR-based Hollywood metal scene that closed out the 80’s, then maybe you can see where they’re coming from. It’s raw and sloppy and has gang chants…but it’s also a bit groovy and bluesy, and again, not far removed from the biker USBM sound.

No problem so far as we’re concerned, this stuff is great drinking music (and would make good fight music to boot).

Shores Of Null – Beyond The Shores (On Death And Dying) (Spikerot Records) (November 27)

Gothic doom affair, one long 38 minute track.

Problem with things like this is that there is no option to skip ahead…and when you don’t get past a bloated and somewhat pointless intro until a full 12 minutes have elapsed, that’s something of an issue.

Attempts at dual male/female vox about 20 minutes in fall a bit flat due to said female really warbling/yelling her part. How the hell is the guy supposed to harmonize with that, lady? Yeesh…

Like the most post prandial gorge of a Reverend Bizarre track, this just plods on…and on…and on, only coming to life at random intervals. Unlike the Rev, it’s inconsistent once they do seem to pick things up, and never once do you land on something amazing like “goddess of doom”.

It’s more like a minute or three of a questionable riff, which then peters off and meanders again for what seems like a decade. Poof, there’s another riff of sorts. Oh, sorry, did I doze off? I guess the attention wandered, but now we’re into it…oh, wait. False alarm, back to meandering aimlessly. 38 minutes and 25 seconds down the toilet…

I appreciate what they seem to have been trying to do here, but question the rather faltering execution. Too long, with the high points too few and brief…and what’s with that female backing vocalist?

Better luck next time. They may have thrown this game, but they’re moving in the right direction at least.

NIBIRU – Panspermia (Argonauta Records) (November 13)

Wait…”efflatus”? I played a dwarf character named Flatus Krustbottom once, a gassy fellow with an inordinate love of cruciferous vegetables whose family motto was “who smelt it, dealt it” (get it? Dwarf joke, they’re into ore and smelting? Never mind…) Really wasn’t expecting a band to go on about farts…

You think that was a joke and, yeah, it was. But it would have been a hell of a lot better were that in fact the case. Apparently they’re into James Corden, because it appears they do that Reg Watts thing of just throwing out random words as lyrics…

A lot of screaming, a lot of sludgy noise and atonality, some slap echo…what the hell is this all about, anyway?

Whatever it is, flush it, quick. Somebody grab the Renuzit or something…phew!

MITOCHONDRIAL SUN – Sju Pulsarer (Argonauta Records) (November 13)

Melodeath act Dark Tranquility guitarist Niklas Sundin’s side project/solo album. It’s all instrumental and mostly droning trance material, generally with tremelo guitars and blastbeats appended by keyboard.

Certainly sets a mood, but when one track sounds much like the three that came before and the two that follow it…to say this comes off “a bit samey” is the understatement of the year.

 

SAN LEO – Mantracore (Bronson Recordings) (November 13)

Well…it’s no Circle, nor is it Can. Or Faust. Forget Kraftwerk, or Rheingold.

But when promo materials draw vague comparison between this and krautrock, they’re a lot closer to the mark than further suggestions of prog (no way) or psychedelic rock (not hearing it, sorry).

It’s throbbing, dark and odd, but repetitive and somewhat trancelike. You’d think this would be an easy win…but that’d be true if any of the suggested parallels were true, or in the case of the closest to truth (krautrock), more than murky haze figure in the fog apprehensions of what could concievably be similar to what you’re hearing on the two tracks herein.

meh…you’ve heard worse, but this is nothing to get excited over, either.